Words can hurt
by Turtlefanforlife1982
Summary: "This is the real Taylor Hillridge, and I don't see why every one hates me so much… But, maybe I do… cause how I hate me too… and right now, I don't see the reason for trying… for talking… or for breathing… I'm just done…"


**Disclaimer: I don't own anything! The song playing is owned by Emily Osment!**

**A/N: I know what its like to be bullied on the internet. When people post rude or mean comments even in**** reviews that is concidered being a cyberbully, think about that before you hit a review botten. **

**Summery: "This is the real Lilly Truscott, and I don't see why every one hates me so much… But, maybe I do… cause how I hate me too… and right now, I don't see the reason for trying… for talking… or for breathing… I'm just done…" **

* * *

><p><em>I am just another number, stack me up I'll crumble, and drift along…<em>

I see you staring at me, why is it that every time I cry you laugh? The words you said that I read on my computer hurt so much… I'm a good person, or at least I thought I was… I don't understand what I did that was so wrong… After weeks of feeling so alone… and feeling so hurt… I'm done… I don't see the reason for living anymore… No one knows how I feel… my mom just orders me around… my dad is in a different state with a 25 year old girl… my best friends have left me… the boy I like believes what you say online is true… my brother had started a rumor about me online and it hurt me deeply… but he never knew how much… as I stand in a crowded hallway I see my love interest walk by me with a sullen look… my best friends just walk by… what did I do? I am told that I am a slut… how can this be? I am told I am a whore… I don't see how either of these are true for I am a virgin…

_I am just another nothing light me up I'll fall in and then be gone_

I run out of my history class because I am in tears… the boy I like really does hate me… I try to find peace in the bathroom, but your in there… you say that I am a 'skank' and a 'slut' and that I am pathetic for crying… after they leave the room I break down… I lean against the sink and look in the mirror… my blond hair is in my face but its clean… my face is wet from tears but that's only because of the words you say… I walk quickly out of the bathroom… I go get my bag and my purse and leave school… I cant stand to be here any longer…

Lalay lalay lalay Oh Lalay lalay lalay Oh Lalay lalay lalay Oh

Since I don't drive I run most of the way home… once there I see my mom is still at work… she will never know what I am up too… not untill its too late… I run up to my room… I see my laptop… I open it and see more words… they hurt me more then if you had just said them to my face… I slam the laptop shut and break out into tears… I cry for what seems like hours… I walk around my room wondering what to do… I pick up my laptop and set it on my desk… I set up the web cam to record… as I set on the edge of my bed I see my self on the small screen… I feel dead inside…

_I am well suited for erasing Fading into hazy I'm sinking strong_

I take in a ragged deep breath and say trying not to cry again "I'm the real Lilly Truscott… and I don't understand why every one hates me so much… but maybe I do… cause now I hate me too… and right now I really don't see the reason for trying… or for talking… or for breathing… I'm just done… so… I guess that's it I guess… bye…" I feel fresh tears running down my face as I stop the recording… I leave my laptop open on my desk and begin to cry again… this new feeling that came over me I wasn't sure what to do… as I look out my window I see the school bus pull up and my younger brother get off…

I hear him get on mom's computer… he will never know… I walk into the bathroom and shut the door… I look at my self in the mirror one last time… my blond hair is now a mess… my face is wet from tears… and my eyes are red from crying so long… I open the medicine cabenet… I see a clear bottle of pills… I hear the back door open and hear my name… but I am numb… I pick up the bottle and hold them in my hands… I work to get the cap off… what I don't relize is that this cap instead of just pushing down to open, you have to line up the arrows…

Lalay lalay lalay Oh Lalay lalay lalay Oh Lalay lalay lalay Oh

I struggle to get the cap off as I hear some one calling my name… I dare not reply… I just continue to work with the damn cap… after a few moments the bathroom door flys open and my best friend runs in screaming "Lilly no!" she didn't see me get those annoying arrows lined up… before she can stop me I lift the small bottle to my lips… I feel the first pill start to touch my tough… but before it goes in… the bottle is smacked hard out of my hand… I get up and scream "what did you do!" in my friends face… I feel strong arms hold me… at first I don't relize that it was my mom… she is holding me… how does she know what was happening? How did my friend know… oh, I just remembered, the video I posted…

_And then its all over and done_

I can feel my self begin to cry again… tears are running down my face as I keep saying over and over "I just wanna die! Please let me die!" my mom holds me tight… after a few moments I see a man walk in… he has a needle… I struggle to get out of my mom's arms… but the man sticks me with a needle… seconds pass and I feel my world go black…

_Lalay lalay lalay Oh Lalay lalay lalay Oh Lalay lalay lalay Oh_

_Well suited for erasing_

_Lalay lalay lalay  
>Oh<em>

_Fading into hazy_

_Lalay lalay lalay_  
><em>Oh<em>

_I'm sinking_  
><em>strong<em>

I start to wake up… my head feels so heavey… I see my mom standing there… she looks like she had been crying… I can hear her say something but to my surprise I don't hear myself reply but I feel my lips move… I look over and there stands my friend… she too had been crying…

After a few days my mom and I are sitting in her car… I feel angry at her… she is taking me to the hospital for counceling, personaly I don't wanna be here… I still wanna die… those people were so mean to me… all those words on my computer screen… who knew words could hurt so much… I hear my self say to my mom "why are you making me do this?" my mom was fighting her own emotions as she told me "You're not being punished Lilly, this is a place for you to go talk to some one, I am scared that you will try this again. You have put so much into your life, I don't want you to give it all up." I just sit there, not saying a word then I can tell she strains to say this with out crying " please…" I just shake my head and say "ok, fine I'm going…"

after that day the healing begins… this happens to a lot of people I found out… Cyberbullying is a real problem… I learned of a 13 year old girl out in Missouri that killed her self just weeks before her 14th birthday… now I realize that killing my self would have been a mistake… looking back I know that my best friend saved my life by hitting those pills out of my hands… I am now making it a mission to stop Cyberbullying, I want to make a difference and put an end to digital drama. I am so glad I am not dead… I feel so alive, and ready to take on the world…

The End

* * *

><p><strong>AN: The story you just read came from my heart and from the movie that has inspired me to write a book about my experience with online drama… please before you click 'review this story' think about what your going to say… because words can hurt… the song that was playing in the back ground is written and sung by Emily Osment. I support her in wanting to delete digital drama… there are websites you can go to and talk to some one…**_  
><em>


End file.
